Tag: friends

[T]he hustler’s every waking hour is lived with both the practical and the subconscious knowledge that if he ever relaxes, if he ever slows down, the other hungry, restless foxes, ferrets, wolves, and vultures out there with him won’t hesitate to make him their prey.~Malcolm X


Source: What Would You Do?

It has often been said that someone can tell how far a person will go in life by the circle of friends he keeps. This is certainly true for an athlete who life is complicated by an abnormal work schedule and can be plagued by location issues. Then, add the pressures of being in the spotlight and others’ demands for him, and even the way his life should go, can create an enormous burden for the athlete to shoulder.

For these reasons, it is important that the athlete have an inner circle of family and friends that he can truly trust. An athlete may need to delegate relocation, money, or other family issues, and those handling those matters need to have the athlete’s best interest at heart as well as follow his lead instead of following their own agenda.

For an athlete to consider anyone above reproach could be a fatal mistake. It is just as easy for a family member to steer the athlete wrong as Joe Smoe from down the street. And steering someone wrong does not lend itself to just financial decisions; it includes career direction, second career choices, physical conditioning, love, and just life decisions in general. Jack Johnson’s financial future was placed in jeopardy by his parents, Johnny Manziel’s career by his associates and friends, Maria Sharipova by her medical team, and the list goes on and on.

In the book, The Courage to Trust, Cynthia L. Wall, LCSW, discusses circles of belonging. She sets out definitions to help an athlete, or anyone for that matter, to determine between an acquaintance, companions and coworkers, friends, intimates, and soul mates (and soul mates goes beyond those to whom we marry). The key is the level of trust, self sacrifice and intimacy each of those have within an athlete’s life.

Certainly, those individuals who fall within the soul mate level will have more influence on one than someone who falls below the friend level. Knowing which level a person falls into will help you determine how much weight to give that person when it comes to handling your affairs. Knowledge and insight can come from anywhere, but it would be foolish to give a coworker access to your bank account.

And it is understandable that trust will fluctuate with some individuals falling out of your soul mate, or inner, circle and others who were once acquaintances growing into more trusting roles. There should never be anyone in your inner circle that there is not mutual trust, care, respect and love, and one should never give more trust to someone in hopes they will change. Believe a person when they have truly shown you who they are–that doesn’t mean judging someone based upon someone else’s experience with a person or from the outside looking in. You have to get to truly know someone for yourself.

If you don’t trust someone, then your interaction with them should reflect that lack of trust or knowledge of her. Yet, remember not to close yourself off by not getting the whole story. If you choose the right folks to be a part of your inner circle, life can be a beautiful thing. Consider those athletes who have come before you like Wayne Gretzky, Peyton Manning, Franco Harris, LeBron James, that have great support system and their success is evident both on and off the field.

Anyone who agrees or disagrees with you 100 percent of the time probably should not be part of your inner circle. . . . period.


Source: James Rodgers

“Family doesn’t automatically qualify for being within your ‘inner circle’ unless you have the high degree of trust with each family member.”~Natalie


Source: NOLA.com

The answer to the above question by most would probably be no. However, after viewing OTL (Outside The Lines), that answer may change. For others, it probably never would due to Smith’s celebrity. Therein lies a problem. We often say justice is blind, and yet, we do not apply that value to those famous in our society.

While it customary to not speak evil or bad of the dead, please allow me some leeway as I try to use this tragic situation to illustrate how we can help those who entertains us on the field of play, or anywhere else, in the world.
But back to the question at hand . . . Taking a quick look some of the footage obtained by OTL, Smith was in the wrong for leaving the scene of an accident which he caused by running into the back of Cardale Hayes’, the accused, vehicle. Actually, Smith first mistake was driving after drinking sake at a restaurant with his wife and friends. On should never drink and drive, and the law says one is not suppose to leave the scene of an accident.

Hayes pulled over to exchange information with Smith, but Smith took off which negates the aggressive bump from behind theory the prosecution is probably going to argue. According to Kevin O’Neal, Hayes followed Smith to obtain is driver information. It is after the bump that Smith supposedly got out of his car along with his other friends who I suspect were also slightly intoxicated and started arguing with Hayes and O’Neal.

I cannot speak for everyone, but if someone comes at most people Smith’s size, and with friends, in a threatening manner then I believe they would do whatever it takes to protect themselves. But Smith is a normal person. Smith was a beloved, former New Orleans Saints player. He overcame a domestic violence situation with his wife to help New Orleans in her dark days and stayed after winning the Super Bowl. And most will only think of that and forget that Hayes is a human being who just may have feared for his life.

We will never know what would have become of Smith’s future despite what seemed as a promising rise from a huge mistake with his foundation work and connection with the community. But it should have never came to this day when a trial is underway. All respect to Smith’s wife, Racquel, who tried to get him to calm down and not argue with Hayes to no avail, but why didn’t his friends do the same? Why did his friends allow him to get behind the wheel and drive that night?

I hope the jury thinks on these things as they listen to the testimony given, because it seems there is plenty of blame to go around for Smith’s death and not just for Hayes. Hopefully, this lingers in the minds of all to prevent another tragedy in the future revolving guns, driving and alcohol.


Source: OTL (Outside The Lines)