Tag: forgiveness

With the Epstein-Trump controversy going on as well as several Church leaders being accused of sexually abusing children, I felt this testimony was especially appropriate today. Please be aware this article could be triggering for some folks.

Source: Sports Spectrum

Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and raped her. His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.” When Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, his sons were in the fields with his livestock; so he did nothing about it until they came home.~Genesis 34:1-5

I want to add my thoughts to Braley’s interview. She mentions that she forgave the men who raped and abused her. I’m so proud of her for doing so.

However, I know growing up in the Church that I learned that “true” forgiveness meant forgetting and reconciling as well. Well, I have now learned that is false and extremely harmful to a victim. In the words of Psychology Today, “Forgiveness does not erase the memory of the offense; rather, it involves an awareness of the harm that has been done. Forgiveness requires memory, not its absence. If you forget an offense, you are not actually forgiving—you’re simply forgetting. (Aug 21, 2024)”

That would be suppressing a memory and not forgiveness. It also doesn’t mean reconciling with the one who harmed you despite whomever s/he may be. There is a reason that the saying, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me” exists. Forgiveness, also, doesn’t mean you cannot hold the person accountable. Yes, you can take them to court. God is a God of justice as much as He is One of forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-35.

The goal in true forgiveness is to cut unhealthy soul ties by healing and accountability. Otherwise, the victim could end remaining a victim through a toxic relationship or a form of toxic forgiveness. That is not what our Savior wants for us.

Source: Sports Spectrum

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.~Ephesians 5:8

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12


Source: Sports Spectrum

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive*.~Colossians 3:12-13

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* I just want to add that forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing one to abuse you. It also doesn’t mean not holding the guilty party accountable. It means releasing the pain so you can heal and grow and so can the other person. Oftentimes, people confuse forgiveness with denial of justice. Forgiveness and justice can coexist . . . in other words, you can forgive and still receive justice. Please read The 3 Paradoxes of Forgiveness That Confuse Many People.